Friends don't need me

Friends Don't Need Me
by Jourdan Cameron

I see friends, friends,
Together, but to what ends?
A loyal companion, there under duress?
Somebody there in times of great distress?
Through thick and thin a helping hand lends?
They'll stab you in the back and kick you in the heart,
leave you for dead and tear you apart.
Is loyalty true,
can any of it be real?
I see neither point nor lasting appeal.
I've seen but lies,
known only betrayal,
beneath a blue moon lone wolf cries.
Is it worth attempting,
is there a point in trying?
Why haven't I quit, why do I still keep kicking,
if to everyone I turn somebody's going to leave me dying?
There's a method to the madness,
something is missing,
a gear out of the machine,
where do I invest?
I've looked in the worst places,
I really can't say I know best,
I need help finding somebody,
a steady soul to brave the test.
Where are they? Do they still exist?
They are the people I have somehow missed.
Wait.
I've been here.
I've gone through this.
I know people will cause pain,
I once believed that some would be different,
yet they hurt me all the same,
why will these next few provide special treatment?
Isn't the whole concept of friendship a lie?
I've always wondered why.
Does something so wonderful have to be a falsehood?
Perhaps I've misunderstood,
there must be true friends,
I've searched long and hard,
but not hard enough,
with loneliness I will continue to contend.
It's dark, long shadow looms strong and tough,
 yet I am stronger, and will prevail,
all of my wounds time shall mend.
From where do these friends come?
Are they close, maybe right under my thumb?
I shall know soon,
I shall know true,
I will keep trying,
until I find you.


-

I wrote this poem listening to Death Waltz by John Stump.

On another note, I'm happy to tell you that I have (loyal!) friends.